sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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