After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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