Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
