I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
