how do flat chested girls get laid?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
