It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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