Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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