Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Randomize
