i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
