I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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