hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
