I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
