An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Someone came in the potted fern
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
