in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
