afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
