Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
