can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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