love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
