Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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