I think scott just propositioned me for sex
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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