so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
