Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
And then he peed in my hair
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