i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
