I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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