I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
