Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
