My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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