I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
