Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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