Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
