His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
