i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
