My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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