Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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