Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
