You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
whose ass print is on the piano?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
