You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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