just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
