you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
