she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
