So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
