is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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