either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
