Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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