Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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