1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
