I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
