I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
false alarm. still invincible.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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