Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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