She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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