I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
