And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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